I am so fickle

Just two months ago, I couldn’t look at anything that wasn’t somehow related to bedrooms, living rooms, dining rooms, kitchens, bathrooms, mudrooms, gardens. Decor, decor, decor filled my every spare thought. I riffled through inspiring blog posts and photos at an alarming rate, saving image after image of spaces I find beautiful that somehow also fit in with the paradigm of our home.

I scoured the web for ideas I didn’t put into action, spent hours dreaming about spaces I will likely never own, imagining rooms that take so much time and care to curate, both of which I seem to lack. I hold no illusions about my identity as a decorator: I have not the knowledge nor the determination to create these spaces. 
I love my home, but I have no illusions about my own talents to keep it. Even if I could curate such a beautiful space, I could never keep looking so beautiful and serene. I’m a clutterer, an avoider of housework, a leave-the-dishes-until-I-can’t-find-the-counter-er. 
All of this is evidence of our priorities: we’d much rather spend the evening cooking, getting a little exercise, and snuggling up on the couch with a good movie than hanging curtain rods and rearranging our furniture. We’d much rather spend our money on dinner out or squirreled away in our bank accounts than on new rugs, art, and bedspreads. But sometimes, I wish I could just change those priorities overnight. I wish I could wake up one morning with boundless amounts of energy as one of those super-women who work all day, hit the gym for an hour, make a delicious meal for their perfect families, and then spend the whole evening hanging art on gallery walls, reupholstering a club chair within a decent amount of time, and scrubbing every inch of their home from top to bottom before going to bed at night. 
Yeah, not gonna happen. The more I realize this, the less interest I have in all the pretty pictures and unattainable spaces. We have a comfortable home, a space that makes me happy, a space filled with love, puppy cuddles, and kitty kisses, a space that welcomes friends and opens the door to family. What more is needed?
Is this waxing and waning of interests a common thing? I’m sure I’m not the only one who dives headlong into something intensely for months and then drifts off to something new. And, I’m sure I’m not done with this whole home decor thing: I still have so many projects I want to do, after all! But, for now, I’m not going to worry to much that my interests are a little adrift.
And this blog? Don’t worry — I’m still here.

0 thoughts on “I am so fickle

  1. I've actually started unsubscribing from blogs that only post pictures of magazine worthy houses and fancy photo shoots. To me there's nothing real about any of it. It takes thousands upon thousands of dollars to make those rooms look that way, plus professional photography to boot. I can't live like that. My cat's treats are constantly sitting on the shelf. The throw on my couch is never folded. Our remote controls sit on the couch or the coffee table. My purses are scattered around the house. I'd much rather read about how "real people" are living their lives and what they're doing any day of the week.

  2. I think it's natural to strike a balance between fantasy and reality. It sounds like you've hit a point where you're just over-stimulated, or over-saturated perhaps with images of interior design & perfection, and needing a break from that mind-set (what better time but the holidays to recharge and re-orient?)

    I have a husband, a 5yro., two cats and a dog as well as anywhere from 1-5 foster pups in my house every weekend; even if I cleaned the house top to bottom every day our house would not look magazine worthy. Even after all the upgrades and improvements, there's just no way it is going to happen.

    It's great to use images from magazines and professional[or semi-pro] blogs to inspire the transformation of your own space but it has to be your own space–your home–and not an artificial space staged to perfection. I completely agree with casacaudill, sure the spaces are nice to look at, but they aren't entirely realistic.

  3. I totally know the feeling. I felt like for months, before our rooms were finished, that as soon as they were done they'd look like my Pinterest boards. I was completely wrong. They look more like me than a magazine but I have to remind myself that it's not instantaneous AND many of the photos, even for blogs, are carefully styled and arranged just for the photos, not for real life. I'm not thrilled with my house yet but it's our first house and more for progress than for magazines. Plus my mom likes the pictures.

    And don't be totally fickle, you guys are AMAZING a remodeling. That kitchen and bath look totally like a magazine to me!

  4. Just so you know, women like you described don't really exist.

    You don't need to strive for any kind of magazine perfection in your home. As long as it's a space you love and you are filling it with things that are meaningful to you, it will be perfect. 'Curating' a house can be easily done with lots of money – but it will still feel empty.

    I think it's important to strive for more of this kind of honesty on blogs. I admit that I like to look at those glossy photos too, but I am also always working towards being grateful for what I do have.

    Hope you have a great holiday!

  5. I think we all need a reminder of this once and a while. True, no one actually thinks such 'perfect' women exist, but there's definitely still a societal pressure to live up to such a woman.

    I absolutely agree with you. On all points!

  6. Oh, don't worry! The remodeling thing isn't going away as long as the Husband has something to do with it. But I think my biggest issue is that I've become bored with all those glossy magazine photos. I've seen so many, I don't pick up on what's unique and beautiful about each one. They've all started to blur together.

    Definitely time to take a break from beautifully styled photo after beautifully styled photo!

  7. I couldn't have said it better! You're right – I think I've reached a point of over-stimulation. I am definitely taking a step back for the next few weeks, refocusing, reorganizing, and settling into my own space rather than looking outward. I think everyone needs such a reminder every so often, that home can be beautiful, in its own way, even if it would never show up in the pages of Style at Home.

  8. Your comment made me smile. In a way, I think I'm having an allergic reaction to blogs like that – an extreme dropping off of interest not because I'm no longer interested in my own home, but because I'm becoming uninterested in the uninhabited homes that seem to be everywhere on the Internet.

    You guys have all done a wonderful job reminding me that real is, in the end, what matters. Thank you!

  9. Everything happens in cycles for me too! I am crazy about thrifting for months…then I want to purge and not spend a cent…I will feel like I need new clothes and new haircut and put effort into my style, then I wont care so much again…my house right now will sit 'as is', I should get the basement done, once and for all, but at some point my basement stopped looking so bad…I am pretty content with it at the moment actually.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *